BeeeJay's 8 Week Fall Vegas-Phoenix Golf, Gambling, Hookers & Blow Binge

Hello Dear Readers!

LobsterFest is over. It is once again "that time of year". The lobster are all dead and the Red Lobster Hostesses are limping back to their gynecological rejuvenation appointments. It is time for BeeeJay to THROW OFF THE CORPORATE SHACKLES and bust loose into another season of completely insane off-the-rails debauchery and shenanigans.

Let us begin.

Ok so I wasn't sure how to format these upcoming trips. Due to "international restrictions", which you can interpret to be a combination of covid and international arrest warrants, I have had to make some minor travel adjustments recently and am now slated for 5 trips totaling 88 nights away from home over the next 117 days.

After noting all the "Killer Couples" and "Murder, Accident, or Suicide" shows my wife has piled up on the DVR, I realized my safest bet was to not spend over few days at home in a row to avoid the usual slow poisoning, ground glass, etc approached. Gotta make her at least work for it, Am I Right?

So anywho, I'm gonna actually break this up into two reports. One now I'll do as a Vegas Trip Report, because it includes 3 Vegas stints totaling 11 nights:

Part 1: 7 Days starting Wednesday, Flying to Phoenix, driving to Vegas for 4 nights at Venetian. Staying at buddies house in Phoenix, rented a Suburban to drive all the guys and golf clubs.

Part 2: 21 Days, Driving west from Chicago Clark Griswald style, with 4 nights split between Wynn and Cosmo. I'm stopping at various golf courses in Nebraska and Colorado, Vegas and Phoenix. In addition to the Vegas hotels I'll report on the Westin Kierland Scottsdale and Fairmont Scottsdale Princess.

Part 3: 14 Days, Flying to Vegas, 3 nights Wynn, 2 nights Cosmo, 1 night overlap. Then fly to Phoenix and 10 days there split between an AirBNB and Andaz Scottsdale Resort where I've reserved a sweet Bungalow that attaches directly to a private cabana on one of the pools.

So over the next 56 days, I'm basically home just long enough to do laundry, refill ointment prescriptions, grab more golf balls and tees, repack and head back out.

Thanks for reading and following along, I'll add more detail on the first leg next!

 

So for Part 1, my 18-year old will be dropping me off at O'Hare bright and early Wednesday for a flight to Phoenix. I've got a Suburban rented via Costco Travel and will grab the golf clubs, large checked suitcase and head out to my buddies house in northern Phoenix, likely for some In-N-Out Burgers and some drinks in his hot tub.

We are playing golf at Borat's course on Thursday, then hitting the road for Vegas first thing Friday morning.

Driving up from Phoenix will be BeeeJay, Money, Borat, Borat GF and Borat Ex-BIL. We are meeting Appleseed in Vegas as he drives in from LA. Borat is dropping of the GF at her friends house for the weekend while the boys split 3 and 2 between 2 comp rooms at The Venetian.

Upon arrival Friday, we will start with Mai Tai's at the pool until we get one step short of black out drunk and stumble to the casino hoping to survive until our dinner at Mateo's.

Saturday we hit the ground running with a morning tee time at Bear's Best, followed by dinner at Cut.

Sunday we begin our pool day with LAVO brunch, and hope to god we are conscious enough to make our dinner reservation at Lemongrass.

Monday we again head to golf at Royal Links, with an early dinner at Yardbird designed to free us up just in time for the Raiders-Saints game.

Tuesday we drive back to Phoenix and I fly back to Chicago Wednesday morning, just in time for a Thursday tee time.

 

Say hi if you see us! We will prob be at a craps table with a TV during the game!

 

But you know I’m always sober at the pool!!! I would NEVER drink and swim!

 

Great question!

First she just got a nice surprise gift for her 50th Bday....




And second, I’m actually taking the kids with me in Phase 2 of this plan and wife has been enjoying what she refers to as “quid pro quo mother fucker” (in Leslie Chow voice) with her own outings of late.

A little preview of Phase 2, post-Thanksgiving I’ll do as a non-Vegas report but I’ve rented an Airbnb in Scottsdale for 6 weeks and I’m driving down with the kids with wife to fly down to join Christmas thru New Years.

 

Yes, Extra $1,000 to heat for 40 days @ $25/day.

 

It is a Cadillac CTS 3.6 LUXURY COLLECTION SEDAN 4D. So AWD, panoramic sunroof, heated and cooled front seats, and the faster engine.

I bought it off Carvana, I was having a very hard time finding the right car and she had no clue she was getting it so it helped that it took me about 10 minutes to buy online and it was delivered to my house a few days later, while she was at work, the day before her bday!

I made an excuse to drive her to work, set up all the balloons and a Funfetti cake I bought off Goldbelly from Gambino's Bakery in New Orleans. Then when I got home picking her up, I had to make an excuse to park in the garage because the balloons etc were set up in the front room with the car out the bay window and the keys in her bday card. She got all mad i was parking in the garage cause she had to leave for bday dinner with the moms right away. But I made up some other excuse and it went off without a hitch!